endrin

by endrin

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1.
2.
09:18
3.
09:46
4.
5.
14:30
6.
14:23

about

now available digitally ! (and not on cassette anymore for a while lol)

credits

released August 28, 2016

artwork by cooper !

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endrin Minneapolis, Minnesota

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Track Name: wonderful counselor
what do you do
what do you do

what do you do
what do you do
what are feelings
and how do you know

i dont believe
right next to me
thats where it all blurs out
trying to bleed
as i turn off myself

beating up and falling down
as i try to
put on my cleats
i notice somethings wrong

and thats why i
run away when people say that
nothing nothings changed
but its in my head
and thats enough to make me sad

as i turn off my cell phone
see that love is in the air
and i want to
to not be there

i dont believe
right next to me
thats where it all blurs out
trying to bleed
as i turn off myself

beating up and falling down
as i try to
put on my cleats
i notice somethings wrong

and thats why i
run away when people say that
nothing nothings changed
but its in my head
and thats enough to make me sad

im not one to easily bruise
im not one to easily bruise
im not one to easily bruise
im not one to easily bruise

im not one to easily bruise
im not one to easily bruise
im not one to easily bruise
im not one to easily bruise

im not one to easily bruise
im not one to easily bruise
im not one to easily bruise
im not one to easily bruise

im not one to easily bruise
im not one to easily bruise
im not one to easily bruise
im not one to easily bruise

i dont believe
right next to me
thats where it all blurs out
trying to bleed
as i turn off myself

beating up and falling down
as i try to
put on my cleats
i notice somethings wrong

what do you do
what do you do
what are feelings
and how do you know

i dont believe
right next to me
thats where it all blurs out
trying to bleed
as i turn off myself

beating up and falling down
as i try to
put on my cleats
i notice somethings wrong

what do you do
what do you do
what are feelings
and how do you know
Track Name: eidolon
where did you go
on your own
down the pavement
cross the grass
where did you go
on your own
down the pavement
cross the grass

these trees are
killing me
those eyes right
into me
these trees are
killing me
those eyes right
into me

before was bad
can always get worse
unprovoked
uninvited
unprepared
what made you think
this was

eldorado
hope thats not to much to ask
the cretian grotto
bending out
down a road obscure and lonely
ill angels haunt me only
the lakes just sad and chilly
wish i was a lolling lily

uninvited
unprepared
what made you think
this was

always
always
always
always there

always
always
always
always there

oh its
better this way
something else id need to
use an ashtray but
when my coat hanger
falls off the rack
oh youll never
want me back

uninvited
unprepared
what made you think
this was
Track Name: nightlife
i hope you know
this isnt what i wanted
i hope you know
that i care

i hope you know
this isnt what i wanted
i hope you know
that i care

last night i saw my first cousin
in little little ethiopia
he has 21 years on me but he always tried to make it
feel like none
we didnt really talk

the next day at the top of the hill he pinned a succulent
to his breast
it matched the bouquet
he asked me how i was holding up and i said good i dont know how true that was

i heard pumped up kicks at the reception and i
kind of wanted to get drunk but i didnt know how
and also i could never
and then i did and then i lied

so i walked around with my empty water glass
and my brother who almost understands me
and i still hide my emotions
while i project something else

last summer we met my cousin david at eagle river
it was there that i saw happy memories
and the night sky through the trees
and the yellow light through the windows
while i watched the campfire burn

and honestly i laugh more than i cry
and honestly i laughed more than i cried
but when they danced to neil young
i wanted to get up and just keep rising

and when city lights came on
i buried myself in my notes and thought about
suddenly dying

but then i watched a baby sleep
and ate an ice cream sandwich with an edible wrapper
and i thought about how far ive come
and i really felt a lot better

and yes it all makes me think of myself
but most of all
it makes me love them

and as her brother the reverend said tonight
oh partners for life

drown your troubles in
spite
do you sleep with a
light

drown your troubles in
spite
do you sleep with a
light

i hope you know
this isnt what i wanted
i hope you know
that i care

i hope you know
this isnt what i wanted
i hope you know
that i care

every day i want to get up on your porch top
but i hope that we can keep this going on
and i know how this looks for you
but id never mean to cause you any pain

i hope you know
this isnt what i wanted
i hope you know
that i care

i hope you know
this isnt what i wanted
i hope you know
that i care

and then we did it at the drop of a feather
we were asleep but i wish i could go back
i got everything id pined for
i lost everything i had

i hope you know
this isnt what i wanted
i hope you know
that i care

i hope you know
this isnt what i wanted
i hope you know
that i care
Track Name: thank you so much
everything comes back
i guess you could say its where its supposed to be
this is as much as i can say
but i guess ill have to do it anyway
please dont make me
have to tell it twice

keep on searching
youll find yourself
the right connections
the top rung

oh im not the one

like the elephants that play in the yard after we take our afternoon
like the ferns that part their lips so the lizards can go see the raccoons
red green yellow orange blue purple and turquoise
what a mud-luscious spring what a puddle-wonderful day

and ever since the darkness left the face of the deep
and god saw that the light was good
all us little living creatures swirling across the earth
and then it happened to us
it was always things like this for me
brought my thoughts to a dream
and it was things like this for you
behold it was very good

keep on searching
youll find yourself
the right connections
the top rung

oh im not the one

and heres where im supposed to paint some giant fresco over everything
and its supposed to tell the world what i am
and heres the spot where im supposed to fill in all that emptiness
and all i can do is just add more

what a beautiful wedding
oh what a trite thing to say
and i sure as hell have been down to ohio
but i never had to pay

if youve ever heard music for a large ensemble or thought about telephone lines or kept just watching yourself sink under everything you said was mine
youd know youd know
oh youd know youd know

everything comes back
i guess you could say its where its supposed to be
this is as much as i can say
but i guess ill have to do it anyway
please dont make me
have to tell it twice
you went away
from my window

dont think any of this
is because of us
dont think any of this
is because of us

oh im not the one

like the sky that lights the way for the day as it trickles by the loon
like the earth that lets those monkeys look at so many different colors under the moon
red green yellow orange blue purple and turquoise
what a mud-luscious spring what a puddle-wonderful day

but oh we really should have known
that it must soon take place
cuz when you showed me the river of the water of life
it truly was bright as a crystal
and then when it was shown to me
what you never would have done
well there was nothing left for me to say
oh surely he soon must come

dont think any of this
is because of us
dont think any of this
is because of us

oh im not the one
Track Name: after school
when i first saw you it was like the
dust bowl had come back to finish what it started
and for the longest time it didnt
seem like it would end up any other way

last thursday i was amazed ever since that
christmas i went out to marine on st croix
and i hope this never ends but well
see i guess when you reach the top of the mountain

countdown soon
and ill be leaving
cant keep myself
off the beat

lifes a dune
and what is this feeling
you dont have to prove yourself
but im not so sweet

homes a funny word
to say to yourself
it takes you back
it takes me out

and all those times
theyre saved in stone
but theyll never have
anyone ever

oh i never get over seeing you that way
i dont know what i wanted i really have nothing to say

it doesnt matter what ive said
it doesnt matter what ive done
its as simple as some one who wanted to just
stop it

baby moon
if you know what im weaving
up on the shelf
under the car seat

just a common raccoon
all we did was believing
even watching elf
couldnt hurt our wheat

oh please come home
oh you just have to
you never could have known
what youd really done

and all the
pain youve caused your mother
it means nothing to me not to me
not to me

its impossible to understand
what ive been through
maybe its for the best
if we just stop this right here

arent we so lucky
that she missed his eye
im just so glad things turned out this way
this way this way

if i ever fail
never let me back in
if god will be my witness
ill never go hungry again

oh it has to be it has to be it has to be
oh it has to be it has to be it has to be
its you
Track Name: finally
finally
finally
finally where i never thought id be

finally
finally
finally where i never thought id be

finally
finally
finally where i never thought id be

blue moon rising over country roads
i must have lost you but well never get old
and the meteorite blocking the light
and the stones you were tossing cross the sea

i would have tripped through the day
but you never would have let me anyway
and the loves gone tomorrow
and im never going home

this world is but a vanity
and replete with necessity
this world is but a vanity
and replete with necessity

this world is but a vanity
and replete with necessity
this world is but a vanity
and replete with necessity

finally
finally
finally where im supposed to be

finally
finally
finally where im supposed to be

finally
finally
finally where im supposed to be

next year all of this means nothing to me
next year all of this means nothing to me
next year all of this means nothing to me
next year all of this means nothing to me

next year all of this means nothing to me
next year all of this means nothing to me
next year all of this means nothing to me
next year all of this means nothing to me

next year all of this means nothing to me
next year all of this means nothing to me
next year all of this means nothing to me
next year all of this means nothing to me

next year all of this means nothing to me
next year all of this means nothing to me
next year all of this means nothing to me
next year all of this means nothing to me

next year all of this means nothing to me
next year all of this means nothing to me
next year all of this means nothing to me
next year all of this means nothing to me

ordinary ordinary
did i go wrong did i go wrong
ordinary ordinary
did i go wrong did i go wrong

ordinary ordinary
ordinary ordinary
did i go wrong did i go wrong
did i go wrong did i go wrong

ordinary ordinary
ordinary ordinary
did i go wrong did i go wrong
did i go wrong did i go wrong

ordinary ordinary
ordinary ordinary
did i go wrong did i go wrong
did i go wrong did i go wrong

were finally in bed
were finally talking
its out of my head
id be so despairing

you made me
realize
nothings as
bad as it seems